It’s been 10 weeks since my first sortie. As i write this, i’m done with phase 1 flying. Back to ground school next Monday, back to the routine. And honestly i missed it. 0630 gym, 0800-1530 classes, 1900-2100 study, weekend coffee runs. Comforting in its predictability. But prolly halfway through, I’ll be whining about missing the cockpit.
Mod 1 moved fast, so fast i barely had enough time to catch my breath. Then mod 2 hit, and everything slowed to a craaaaaaawl, 6 sorties in just over a month, weather and ops delays left long, empty gaps between. At one point, I could’ve flown back to Hong Kong and returned before my next sortie even got scheduled. It was funny until it wasn’t.
I’ve reckoned flying isn’t just about stick and rudder, its a mental game. The delays, the inconsistent pace, the inner voice creeps in, whispering, Are you good enough to STILL be here?
Seeing my mates moving into to Mod 3 while I was still grinding through Mod 2 hurt like a paper cut. I slipped into overthinking, as always. Am I falling behind? Are they just better? Is this where I stall out? What if I miss the next IR intake in November because of these delays? When even is the next one? The what-ifs piled up, and I had to drag myself out of that spiral. I know I shouldn’t measure myself against others, but it’s human nature i guess, we all do it. So every so often, I’ve to remind myself to stop, to just stay in my own lane. To trust I’ll get where I’m headed, on my own clock.
And just when I started to feel somewhat settled, my instructor changed. New voice, new vibe, new expectations and it threw me more than I wanted to admit.
I’ve always leaned toward structure, craving familiar faces and routines. I I’m not the most flexible person, and I know that. One of the reasons I never pictured myself flying for an airline was the constant switching of crews, new people every trip, new dynamics, new energy. All those small talks when you’re meeting someone for the first time. Draining.
But maybe by the time I get out of FTA, that won’t feel like a dealbreaker anymore. If this place has taught me anything, it’s that nothing stays the same for long, whether I like it or not. This whole process is forcing me to adapt, and maybe just maybe, i’m starting to build some tolerance for change…even if it’s coming the hard way. Ouch.
And if instructor changes weren’t enough, the weather made sure I stayed humble. I lost count of how many sorties got cancelled in Mod 2. That stretch of no-flying really dragged.
Maybe all these pauses, delays, reshuffles aren’t setbacks, but setups for something i’m not meant to rush. Mayb they’re working in my favour in ways I can’t see just yet. Life doesn’t always tie things up with a neat little bow, and maybe that’s the point.
Till next time
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